As I sit down to reflect on my journey, I can't help but wonder: When did I get old and set in my ways? It's a question that seems to linger at the back of my mind, creeping in during moments of introspection or when faced with the rapidly changing landscape of society. As a 54-year-old Black man, I find myself grappling not only with the physical signs of aging but also with the evolving expectations and terminology of a world that seems to be moving at breakneck speed.

I was spurred to write this blog after seeing a meme video the other day.  An Uber driver was picking up a passenger. The driver issued a greeting, “What’s up man?” with a head nod and a smile. The passenger responded angrily, “Why did you assume my identity was a man?!”  The driver gets visibly frustrated and shouts, “Get out!”

I must admit I had a chuckle. Then I felt so guilty, ‘How have I become so insensitive?’ I've never been one to conform to labels or trends. Growing up, I navigated the complexities of race and identity with a sense of resilience and determination, carving out my path in a world that often felt stacked against me. Later, I chose an inter-cultural marriage and raised multi-cultural children. I have prided myself in championing diversity and equity wherever I have led. But, somewhere along the way, I found myself feeling like society has passed me by.

Have I become the grumpy guy who is resistant to change?

I'm the guy sitting on my porch watching the social justice warrior with purple hair or tattoo-sleeves go by, and I am judging them (Yes, I’m stereotyping here, but please read on.) . . . for judging me. 

It's this whole notion of being ‘woke.’

Woke is a term I hear with increasing frequency, often accompanied by a sense of moral superiority or enlightenment. What does it mean to be woke? And more importantly, “When did I go from being like the Uber passenger to the Uber driver?”

Confession time: I used to be the poster child for woke-ness. Social justice was always front and center in my thinking and actions, but lately, I have found that I don't always have the latest terminology at my fingertips. I admit, I’ve even been known to roll my eyes at some of the newest manifestations of political correctness.

When I miss a pronoun or a holiday, I’d hate for that to be interpreted as not being aware of the injustices that plague our society or that I don't stand in solidarity with those who are fighting for equality and opportunity. I think all of us are more woke about some issues or circumstances than others.

For me, being inclusive is less about conforming to a specific set of beliefs, ideologies or using the right language and more about being conscious of and compassionate towards the world around me.

It's about recognizing my privilege (education, socio-economic status, neighbourhood, intelligence) while also acknowledging the struggles faced by those who don't fit into society’s narrow mold.

It's about listening to diverse perspectives and amplifying marginalized voices, even when it's uncomfortable or inconvenient.

But I’ve got to be honest with you, Folks: While striving for inclusivity and social justice is commendable, I do get frustrated when people come after me as I am trying my best and sometimes screwing it up. 

I’m working hard on the pronouns, describing images, body positivity and crafting meaningful accommodations for mental illness needs…but I also need patience as I learn and grow.

While calling out harmful behavior is essential for fostering accountability, it's important to recognize that not all mistakes warrant public shaming or ostracization.

When individuals are quick to ‘cancel’ others for slip-ups or differences in opinion, it can create a culture of fear and silence, where people are afraid to speak up or engage in meaningful dialogue and, instead, may dig in to resistance and double-down on excuses.

Intentions matter, and assuming malice where none exists stops the learning that might have occurred for us with productive discourse. Jumping to conclusions or assuming the worst about someone's intentions based on a single comment or action can create unnecessary conflict and division, making it difficult to find common ground and work towards shared goals.

I may not be the most knowledgeable social justice champion as time goes on, but as a leader now, I'm committed to learning and growing every day, challenging my own biases and striving to make a positive impact in whatever way I can. As long as I'm willing to keep asking questions, hearing others’ stories, and standing up for what's right, I know that I'll never truly be ‘old’ in spirit.